My Homebirth - The Birth of My Daughter - Charlotte Rene

Monday, 11/16/20

39 weeks + 3 days

I woke up at 1:30am to my first contraction.

It felt like a strong period cramp, more intense than the Braxton Hicks I had been having for weeks so I knew immediately that this was probably it. I got up to use the restroom and worked through a few more contractions to time them and see if they were consistent and to make sure it was for real. At that point the waves were coming about 4-5 minutes apart.

At 2:00am I decided to wake Adam up… we had a few things we needed to do in our room to prepare for the birth and I figured best to get them out of the way during early labor. Adam got out of bed, blew up the birth pool and moved the tools from our bathroom Reno into the bathroom and out of the way. I hopped in the shower at 2:15.

When I got out of the shower, The contractions were still coming 4/5 minutes apart. I texted my midwife to let her know what was happening and she suggested getting back in bed, not walking around, and resting/trying to sleep while we still could. She was at a different birth and said depending on the speed of things, she may have to send backup. We got back in bed at 2:45 and did our best to rest. It was hard. For some reason my body began shaking. I had the shakes for probably 15-20 minutes and finally after my body relaxed, we were able to rest a bit and the expansions spread to about 7-8 minutes apart.

At 4:30am, it got to the point where I couldn’t stay in bed any longer… I felt like I needed to move and be on my feet for the contractions, which were back to about 5 minutes apart at this point. We called my midwife and felt like we wanted additional support so she sent the backups our way. Owen woke up right around this time and joined us in our room. He was so excited and couldn’t believe today was the day we would meet our new baby.

Our backup midwives, photographer, and my mom all got to our home a little after 5:00 and expansions were about 3-4 min apart. Our room felt so peaceful, it was dark with sparkly lights, my labor playlist played softly in the background, Adam giving me so much support and encouragement, water filling the birth tub.

I felt confident, loved, proud, excited, and incredibly safe.

So many things going through my head. I had been looking forward to this day for so long, and it was finally here. I couldn’t wait to bring my baby into this world.

I got in the birth pool and labored there for awhile… the water felt so great. The bath was one of my biggest comforts during my pregnancy. I was in the tub almost every night during my third trimester. The warm water was so soothing as the expansions came closer. Adam poured the water down my back in between the waves. I remember feeling centered and in control while I labored in the birth pool.

After awhile I wanted a change of scenery. I went to the restroom and labored backwards on the toilet leaning on pillows. It felt so productive to sit there. The toilet is a place where your body naturally opens up, where your body intuitively relaxes and releases, so it makes sense that it is a great place to be during labor. I remember pushing my knees against the walls on either side of me during the waves, while Adam sat behind me giving counter pressure.

Around 7:00 I started feeling somewhat impatient, I asked my midwife to check my cervix, but I didn’t want to know exact dilation, I just wanted to be given some information. I got in bed and she checked and said I was moving, and in active labor. We decided to stay in bed for awhile and labor on each side a bit. This was my least favorite position I labored in. Laying on my side honestly felt like my hips were being ripped apart. I quickly wanted to change positions. We put the yoga ball at the head of the bed so I could lean over it on my knees with someone behind me using heat and pressure. This was such a great position for me, not only was it the most comfortable, but I could tell this position was productive for my cervix.

Around 8-8:30 expansions were on top of each other and pretty intense, I felt like I was so close but kept reaching in and couldn’t feel the head at all. Finally around 9 I asked my midwife to check me again and she found that my cervix was gone except for a anterior cervical lip that the baby’s head couldn’t get past.

An anterior lip is thought to happen when the cervix gets caught between the pelvis and the baby’s head. It is the part of your cervix that is towards the front of mom, and could be caused if the baby’s head is putting uneven pressure on the cervix.

My midwife tried to push the lip away but it wouldn’t budge. So I labored on in hopes it would work itself away. I continued to feel so pushy and my body was pushing on its own, but because of the lip, I tried my best to fight the urge and breath through the contractions rather than bare down. I kept reaching in, hoping I would feel the head, but couldn’t which was so discouraging. I remember thinking it was never going to end, and that the lip was never going to go away.

At like 11ish she checked again and the lip was still there. I was so defeated and so tired. I had been in transition for what felt like hours with contractions 1-2 min apart for so long… so intense.

It was around this time that my midwife arrived to my home. I remember her coming next to me while I was on the ball on the bed and her putting her hand on me, and giving me words of encouragement. I felt a huge rush of thankfulness to have her there, to have her physical support… that she made it and that she would be a part of this with me.

They decided to have me push with the midwifes hand inside me, her hand pushing against the lip. After a few contractions of me pushing against my midwifes hand and that darn lip with all of my might, with every ounce of my strength and energy, I finally got her head past the lip!

I reached in and finally felt the head and I just started crying.

“Finally!! I can finally feel the head!!”

I was so incredibly happy, and relieved to feel that head...

I did a few more contractions on the bed over the ball to bring her head a bit lower. She was beginning to crown and I said I wanted to get in the tub to deliver her. I don’t remember how I got in the tub, but I’m pretty sure Adam and the midwives basically carried me over to it! It was about 11:20-11:25 when I got in the water and invited my family to join us.

Adam, Owen, my mom, my mother in law, and my two sister in laws, along with my midwife team and photographer, surrounded me and we all prepared to welcome the baby.

After only a few pushes At 11:30am…exactly 10 hours after my first contraction… I delivered, and we found out that we have a daughter!

I felt complete and utter joy. The most incredible natural high. A rush of oxytocin running through my whole body.

“I did it!”

Soaking in every second I could of this moment, all I could do was look between our beautiful daughter and the loved ones surrounding us.

…so thankful for such an incredible birth experience in the safety of my home…

…so thankful to have this precious new life in my arms…

…so thankful that our family got to be a part of this amazing moment with us…

I couldn’t believe that I persevered through the pain of that lip… I couldn’t believe that we had a baby girl. The absolute greatest surprise.

She is the most beautiful little girl I have ever laid my eyes on.

Our sweet Charlotte Rene. Absolutely perfect in every way! And now we are a family of four.

My heart feels complete.

Was it exactly how I had envisioned my birth going? No! But that’s the beauty of birth... it is unpredictable... there are no 2 births alike...but each birth is special and beautiful in its own way. Despite the lip, it was perfect and exactly how she was supposed to be brought into this world.

I am so thankful for such an incredible experience.

It will forever be one of the best days of my life.

Thank you to my incredible team of midwives for being such an amazing support system through my pregnancy, my labor, and into my postpartum.

Thank you for giving me encouragement when I needed it the most…for having the confidence in me when I wasn’t sure I could do it…thank you for being providers that actually care.

I am so grateful for each and every one of you.

Cheryl L. Gilman, CPM - http://midwifekc.com

Thank you so much to Missy Moore Photography, for capturing our day perfectly, and for providing us with the most beautiful photo/video keepsakes that we will cherish for life.

You have an incredible gift my friend!